What is confidence? Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful, awesome, enough and great without needing someone to tell you. Mastering confidence will lead to healthier relationships, openness in trying new things, better performance, and overall resilience.
The word itself is derived from ‘fidere’ in Latin which means ‘to trust’ and encourages others to trust what we are putting out there in the world but really comes down to trusting one’s own self. Having self-confidence not only impacts how you feel about yourself, but it helps create personal boundaries, make better life decisions, and forms a guide on how to love others.
From the start, we begin building our self-esteem from cues our parents and our home environment. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way we can stumble and lose the ability to trust in ourselves the way we would like. The good news is that there are things you can do to boost your self-confidence. Whether you lack confidence in one specific area or you struggle to feel confident about anything, these 5 strategies can help!
I. Words are Powerful: Speak words of empowerment and kindness to yourself. Your pep talk with yourself is the most important one you can ever give. Set aside a time to do this every day and speak it until you believe! It is incredibly powerful to speak something into existence much like how when you smile, you start to feel more positive right away.
II. Make a List of Strengths. Achievements, & Goals: This may require a bit of soul searching but it’s important for you to write down your own personal CV to refer back to when that self-doubt creeps back into your thinking. Pay attention to how people have complimented you in the past and think of these as your Strengths like being a People Person, Detail-Oriented, or even a Good Listener. DON’T write down your Weaknesses since that will take you down a gloomy rabbit-hole that is contrary to becoming confident!
Examples of Achievements can include being a Good Parent, Great Tennis Player, or simply Making Straight A’s in school. Lastly, what are some of your Goals in life, what makes your heart beat faster or how do you see yourself in the future?
III. Take Action: What can you do right now to get closer to this goal? It can be small but regular daily rituals of self-care from beauty routines, meditation moments that quiet your mind for a time, exercise, preparing a smoothie full of goodness and antioxidants or anything else that reducing stress levels. It’s important to prioritize yourself before and after you start your day or before work to prep and motivate yourself- keep your eye on the prize!
IV. Positive Circle of Friends: Who do you surround yourself with? Do your friends lift you up or bring you down without even realizing it? The company you keep might also be enabling you in some way that enables you to hold onto self-sabotaging ways. Remember that when you change, it may affect your current co-dependent relationships so mix it up and evaluate the dynamics. See how this makes you feel. Spend personal time with people that make you feel empowered.Your circle is important- keep it precious and keep it tight!
V. Help Others: When you focus on someone that has a greater need and you can make a difference, this tends to remove the spotlight from your own problems and insecurities. You don’t have to drop what you are doing and join the Peace Corps (unless this is one of your goals!), but you can choose to mentor a friend’s child or volunteer locally to pack water and hygiene kits for the UAE’s construction workers when the summer heat arrives. There are plenty of opportunities to help people near and far if you look. Even offering a smile or a helping hand to a neighbor can trigger a chain reaction of positivity in your community.
Everyone has the power to help, heal, or seal a wound. Look for ways to reach out in your community or your circle of friends. Making someone else feel special is a gift to ourselves.
Everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another, so you are not alone! That said, if your self-confidence issues interfere with your work, social life, or education, please consider seeking help by reaching out to me, or a mental health professional you feel comfortable with.
